How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?ģ5. I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull.ģ3. Don’t worry - the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.ģ2. I’d rather treat my baby’s diaper rash than have lunch with you.ģ1. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.ģ0. If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.Ģ9. You are the human version of period cramps.Ģ8. You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room.Ģ5. Your face is just fine, but we’ll have to put a bag over that personality.Ģ4. I’m not a nerd I’m just smarter than you.Ģ2. I’m not insulting you I’m describing you.Ģ1.
Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence.Ģ0.
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The only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded.ġ7. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! I still have mine.ġ6. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.ġ4. I only take you everywhere I go just so I don’t have to kiss you goodbye.ġ3. I never even listen when you tell me them.ġ0. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail.ĩ.
Your kid is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry.Ĩ. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, we’ve been married for 10 years.ħ. Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.Ħ. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.ĥ. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.Ĥ. You’re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.ģ. RELATED: Adults Find These 180+ Jokes For Kids To Be Freaking HilariousĢ.
Read on to learn some of the best roasts and insults that will get you through a day where you don’t feel like being as sweet as a Georgia peach. After all, their hilarity will be much better appreciated that way. Save these roasting jokes and comebacks for the privacy of your own home, or for people who’ll understand that they’re just that - jokes. Reminder: While we all need to blow off steam from time to time (moms especially!), bullying or being mean isn’t cool. RELATED: Best Riddles For Kids That Won’t Be Too Hard To Solve Or pretend you’re on an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Raceand you just spit back an already iconic burn. And if there are no friends available, you can always pull up a chair and get practicing for your special appearance on an episode of Comedy Central Roast. Repeat as many times as you need until you no longer give AF.īetter yet, why wait until confrontation arises to get a whirl out of these? There’s no better roast than a roast between good friends, and this is most definitely a list from which you can bounce off each other. Whether you’ve gotta deal with kids who just won’t put their crap away or need an office joke for that coworker who drives you crazy, there’s something on this list for every situation. If you can dig up some dark humor while you’re there, you’ll feel much better! We’ve compiled a list of good roasts and comebacks to mutter under your breath the next time someone pisses you off. Dates may vary by one or two days due to differences in time zones.Sometimes when we’re peeved, our minds can go to some pretty dark places. Note: The following dates are according to Social Blade. It goes as such: "Hey YouTube, Camodo Gaming here! Today we're going to be playing.(proceeds to say the name of the game that is being played)".